The Antichrist

All my friends listened to this man. Many found him controversial, but I couldn’t tell before going there myself and listening to one of his sermons. The hotel lobby was so crowded that I had to squeeze myself to get closer to the gate of the big conference room where the sermon was about to take place. I felt like a home fish in a strange ocean amongst these people who must have come from many diverse backgrounds. I could tell from the fancy clothes some were wearing to the ordinary everyday outfits to the several types of phones and gadgets they were carrying with them. However, I didn’t care much about the kinds of people in the place because I had come for only one purpose; I wanted to listen to what the man had to say and see for myself.

It all felt like swimming against the tide as if something was telling me I did not belong there, but I kept on, and I finally laid my eyes on the man. I could see him from some distance, and he seemed to be revered and respected amongst his followers who were circling him. They must have been feeling blessed to having had that chance of being next to him. To me, he was just an average height guy, just like me with nothing remarkable about his body. However, his sharp eyes glared all the way across the room as he looked at me, but I was lucky that his gaze did not last for long before he turned his eyes away because for a moment I felt mesmerized and it felt like I had this man inside my head. But I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it; it was probably because of the crowd, and he must have been looking at somebody else next to me or behind me because we were literally like pickles in a big jar all stuffed together in a very tight spot.

I had never been a serious church going man, but I had always had respect to what anyone believed; that was the main reason that drove me to come to this place that night and listen to the man. My intentions were as pure as they were when I bought the Norton Anthology of World Religions and started reading in it about how people around the world justified the existence of our human species. I had always been so curious to know what version of god different people had, and that night was no different. The same quest was on, but the version of god I found that night was not like any other god I had heard of or read about.

***

The sermon started with some regular insignificant icebreakers; the man was so funny that he could grab everyone’s attention and bring their belief defense system a little down to make way for his own. I knew these keen eyes did not belong to a stupid man, not at all. For a tiny moment, I thought about leaving immediately as I felt like a butterfly drawn to light, but it was so tempting to stay; the man was saying what I could have never said, even if it was but to wonder.

“Grace be to god! Yet, which god are we talking about tonight? I can tell this great gathering of people have not come to hear old stories about old gods, and the unending causes have bled you out that you are not capable of welcoming any new causes or gods tonight. I won’t be doing either, but I will ask the questions you might have buried deep inside you fearing that voicing them out might bring upon you the wrath of the very god you are trying to challenge.

Is god such a dictator that after all the so-called freedom he gave you, he does not tolerate questions you have in mind to know him better or not at all?

I would not believe in such a god.

Is he the all loving god that promised to love you like his own sons and daughters, but also promised eternal pain and suffering in the eternal fire that will keep burning you forever? Is there any love in rewarding our so-called free children only for what we want them to do, and punish them for eternity if they do not? Can you find any love in that?

I would not believe in such a god.

Is he the god that is recorded down in the scripture telling men what a man would do and what a man would not in matters that matter only to men decided with a man’s mind in mind as if all the women created by this same man god were extras to this one big play played by only men? How could such divine orders be divine if they possess the heart and mind and instinct of a man? Would you believe in such a god?

I would not believe in such a god.

Is he a god that tells you this world is but a temporary place, so you don’t be an offender and if someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer him the other cheek also? That sounds too earthly to me for who would ever be slapping you on one cheek and want you to offer the other but the ones in power that do not want their unjustifiable power to ever be defied? Whose benefits does this teaching serve? If that god ever lived in our times, he would make a perfect prime minister or president. Those words have always been the morphine of all time to silence any questions you might have in return of one thing that even a beggar can sell you for free — false hope. Would you believe in a god like that?

I would not believe in such a god.

Is he a god who hires mercenaries to rule in his stead, ones who cannot function without power and gold they collect in his name, he, the all-powerful needs the small treasures we here possess, on earth? Does not every single word ever written anywhere serve the most this army of the so-called god’s mercenaries who knew what they’re asking people to do is bullshit that they have never done it themselves? Do you think a real god needs an army of robbers and mercenaries? Would you believe in a god like that?

I would not believe in such a god.

I can ask many more questions without any reasonable answers, but I bet you already know all the answers, yet you still fear the words and chains circling around your necks for you are still slaves for a god who created you to be his slaves cannot be any better than a little time slaver. I know in your hearts, you know you were born to be free and that every one of you has something worth being said and heard by all. That all your imperfections are the things that make you perfect as the most beautiful thing about life is that eventually, we all end up dead. Give me a god who does not respect that, give me a god who wants his own imperfect creations to be perfect or he will burn them for that, give me a god who does not love you as you love a stray dog, and I will not bow to that.

I would not believe in such a god.

I am not here today to tell you about an old god you missed or a new god you haven’t met yet. I am here to let you decide for yourselves which god is right and which one is wrong. Look into yourselves and find all the divinity, with all its purity and impurity, it is still divine. It is that god that you find inside; the one that makes mistakes, but eventually knows the best part of any error is the making up part; a perfect god is made of white and black; he’s both your right and wrong side, the good and the evil. A good god will let you embrace all that you have, created by him or not, for some is indeed created by you. There is no need to suffer or make others suffer if their definition of god does not match yours. Everyone can find a god inside, well hidden, a god who needs to be explored, not controlled; a god that is part of your flesh and soul. You can see him in mere ideas and one you can touch his heart. Search inside, and you will find a god, for everyone has a god inside — everyone is a god.

Today, we will discuss the transformation of water into wine. Well, to start with…”

The man went on and on for an hour and a half with the same tone of raising credible doubt without calling anyone of us ignorant or infidels or anything else like that. The man was so tolerant that for most of his sermon, it felt like a roller coaster ride he was leading us into, but he managed to include us all in this incredible journey. I did not focus a lot on the second part of the sermon, but the first part about finding the god inside stirred me and made me want to know more about this guy. I was a bit alarmed though that he kind of destroyed any idea of any god we might have had before stepping into his realm, but the sense of possibility with this man was irresistible. For once, I felt free. I was on my way out overwhelmed by what I had just heard when I suddenly felt a warm hand on my shoulder; it was such a strange thing to feel this touch among such a busy crowd, but I felt the touch penetrated me right inside my heart. When I turned, I saw the man in the crowd standing right next to me with his hand on my shoulder. I saw the same look I had seen earlier that night, but this time, it was up close and personal. He came close to me and whispered in my ear,

“A day will come, brother when you will deliver all of us.”

He only said that and left. I went back home, but I couldn’t sleep that night. Suddenly, I felt like I was serving something bigger than me, greater purpose, another god perhaps, but I remembered what the man said about finding god, and since I believed I was going to find him inside, I was not afraid anymore. I would accept whoever god I might conjure up that night or any other night.

I kept going to the gatherings this man held, whose name I learned later, it was Gabriel, no last name, nothing else other than Gabriel. The name itself was so angelic to me, but I would have loved that man even if his name was Lucifer.

***

Gabriel grew in popularity so much that people from all around the country would come to listen to him, but soon, the country was not enough for a man like him. Gabriel started to travel on tours around the world, and in less than five years, Gabriel went viral just like a YouTube video of a naked movie star, only what he was offering was the naked truth.

***

Years passed, and I was a regular in any gathering Gabriel held whenever he was in town. I was even a little more than just that; I accompanied him on many of his tours as I had quit my job and was working with Gabriel, but I was more than just an assistant, I was an advisor and a friend.

We would spend long nights playing chess and discussing the big questions, but that was not all; we would enjoy the company of some women who also wanted to enjoy their time. We would do anything we wanted to do; as long as we didn’t hurt anyone else, we were free. Gabriel was like a preacher, but I had never felt so free and happy in the company of any other preacher before.

He never asked me to do anything special for him before that night. All he had ever asked was to help him with his sermons, research religions, which I was excellent at, especially when he was going to address Hindu, Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist people. However, that night and for the first time since I knew him, he looked a little restless, and the smile that never left his face was not so present that night. He asked me to help him spy on somebody else. I had never heard of that man before that night. The man’s name was Issa, an Arab who claimed to be the Christ. Since I was originally an Arab, and I knew a lot about religions and all, I was chosen to be that inside man. Gabriel wanted me to penetrate Issa’s circles and gain his trust. Gabriel said it was all because that he believed that man was the Antichrist, who was a dangerous man and leaving a man like that unchecked would lead people back to bondage after Gabriel had led them to freedom.

***

I spent a few days planning and thinking about the whole thing with Gabriel before I traveled to Lebanon, where this Issa was. Both Gabriel and I agreed not to contact each other in the meantime to avoid raising any suspicions from the part of Issa and his men. My mission was simply to gather information about Issa and his people, to learn about their influence and preaching tactics, and to find weaknesses in their methods, which we could use to attack them later. At first, I didn’t think the whole thing would take me more than a couple of months.

Issa was still not nearly as famous and influential as Gabriel was, but it was wise to put out a candle before it would turn into a flame in the wind then a raging fire out of control.

I rented out an apartment near the chapel where Issa used to preach. He was actually claiming he was the Christ and that this was his Second Coming. The disturbing thing was that he was accusing Gabriel of being the Antichrist and that Gabriel had already gathered too many people to his cause, which was according to Issa, “to create dissension between man and God by letting every man become his own god.”

I heard the man a couple of times, and there was nothing wrong in what he was preaching. Most of the time he would be teaching about love and the importance of helping one another and loving one another, same typical Christian teachings, but he talked about the world coming to an end if the evil in the West was allowed to grow, and by that he was meaning Gabriel, no doubt. However, there was nothing dangerous this man was asking people to do. He never asked them to kill any of Gabriel’s followers or Gabriel himself, but I thought I should be hearing what was actually happening behind the curtains and away from the general ear of the public.

It did not take me more than two weeks to secure a place in a more private gathering with Issa and his disciples as they loved to call themselves. We had many discussions, and there was not much more than what was said in public. I could have asked some more fundamental questions, but I didn’t want to push it that early. After a couple of private gatherings, I started voicing my concerns about the danger of Gabriel and that it should be dealt with, but Issa’s answer was always the same, “You cannot fight evil with evil, only good defeats evil.” Well, I had heard these words being said for centuries without proving to be right at all. To me, it was evil that conquered every time, simply because evil was powerful and far more specific than good. I knew that Gabriel was not the Christ in his Second Coming; he never claimed to be, anyway, but I also knew that this man could not be the Christ, either. How could such a pacifist, weak creature armed with the invisible power of love and the ever-elusive dream of hope fight the so-called Antichrist, Gabriel? Gabriel had attracted people from all different classes; some were even politicians and decision makers, but who had this man intrigued so far? Beggars, losers, dreamers taking the same morphine that had been fed almost intravenously into the brains of their ancestors since the beginning of time or the beginning of religion.

By that time, I knew I had heard enough to report back to Gabriel and see what he would do about it. Although, I didn’t think anything should have ever been done about that man. He was but a mirage, a lost cause that would die as soon as his flesh would yield to the ultimate power of death that was going to find its way to him, Christ or Antichrist.

***

Gabriel was interested in my report to the point that he felt like seeing the man himself and talk to him. It felt like there was a big misunderstanding between the two men and here I was like Gabriel first told me on the day I met him. I was meant for great things. Gabriel wanted me to invite Issa to come back with me to the States. He did not want me to mention anything about him for that might discourage Issa from coming. The plan was to tell Issa to come to the states to talk to people who would be interested without telling him the real purpose of the trip, which was to secretly meet with Gabriel. I thought Gabriel wanted to hold a secret meeting with Issa away from all the media and cameras to come to a mutual understanding or some sort of an agreement.

It took me two more months to convince Issa to come with me to the States. I told him that staying only in Lebanon would not do his cause any good and that I had a lot of connections in the States that will help us arrange to be in many places of influence where people gathered in substantial numbers and had sympathetic ears. I had to make all that up because after knowing Issa for a few months, I kind of liked him as well. He was so different from Gabriel, but Gabriel himself had always asked his followers to seek the differences they had and embrace these differences.

We took the flight to New York, and from there, we took another flight to Los Angeles. We arrived at my apartment early in the afternoon, so I urged Issa to make himself at home while I went grocery shopping as the house had been empty for months now with nothing to eat or drink. I went shopping, and on the way back home, I called Gabriel telling him that we had arrived and that I was waiting for him to come visit.

I opened the door, but I immediately knew that something was wrong; I turned around to see what was happening, but a strong arm circled around my neck, and a firm hand with a piece of cloth which had some funny smell was on my face, and soon everything faded to black.

I woke up, and everything around me was black, except for the candles and the men cloaked in black gathering around a man in the middle. I knew that must have been the Antichrist. All the symbols and setting referred directly to that. I was a fool not to believe Gabriel and be more careful with that Issa guy. I kind of hoped it was not too late for me, but something realistic inside me away from any foolish hopes told me my end was near.

There was a cross in the middle of the room, a real big cross like that in the movie. The whole thing was horrifying to me, and I couldn’t look as there was a man crucified on the cross in my house. I didn’t want to know who that man was, but when the man standing before the cross knew I was awake, he stepped aside; it was Issa on the cross and the man standing was Gabriel.

“What the hell, Gabriel? What are you doing?”

“What needs to be done, my friend. He claims to be the Christ, and like all Christs and Messiahs, their destiny is to be crucified on a cross. At least, this time, it is not called the cross of shame, but the cross of glory.”

“How could you?”

“How could I what? Do that, or fool you all this time? Which one hurts more? Not that any of that matters now. I told you the moment I met you that you were meant for great things, and this is indeed a great thing you are doing for me, actually, for all of us. The man came all the way from Lebanon on a plane with you, to your very own house in the middle of Los Angeles to be crucified to death. There is no way out of that, and no matter what you are going to say, no one is going to believe you. You are the one who had abandoned the faith of Gabriel for months now, tried to kill Gabriel, but Gabriel was so merciful that he did not press any charges. However, the man was a fanatic, and he probably left to other places to find other preys. That’s the way he does things, he penetrates the group to reach the leader and then when he is trusted enough, he tries to kill the leader, to take his place, maybe. I don’t know, but you might want to think about all that because the police are going to ask you about it all, so you’d better come up with a decent credible story other than that I sent you there and that I asked you to bring Issa here. No one is going to believe you, my little friend, and above all, don’t forget that you are originally an Arab.”

“I don’t care what happens to me, but why are you killing this man? This man has done nothing wrong.”

“He hasn’t, yes, but he was right about one thing. Evil doesn’t defeat evil, so we didn’t want to spread the word out, not that nobody knows about that, but nobody believes in it anymore. We wouldn’t want people to believe in it again now, would we?”

“You are the Antichrist!”

Gabriel laughed and looked at me as if he were looking at a naive eight-year-old child,

“Call me whatever you wish to call me. I am who I am. After all, I have taught you, you are still a slave to the old teachings of yours.”

I didn’t know what to say for I was in big trouble with no feasible way out. Maybe, it was my problem to believe or the thought that I needed to believe in something or someone brought this terrible fate on me. Not that it mattered anymore; I saw the life of that innocent man flying away before me as I could see my life was probably going to follow his soon. Gabriel had already left with all his men, but he left one behind, one who was also destined for great things like me as my accomplice; only he was doing it willingly. There was no way for me to escape or lie or do anything else but listen to Issa’s last words. The man was murmuring so I couldn’t hear much of what he said right there on the cross, but I could fathom the last thing he said before he finally died,

“Wait for my Third Coming.”

Among all the desperation I was in, I could not say anything else,

“Oh, shit!”

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See also: The Antichrist Book Blog and The Antichrist on Amazon